


This Wasted Life

by GrumpierThanYou



Category: Original Work
Genre: High School, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 10:35:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpierThanYou/pseuds/GrumpierThanYou
Summary: Two fucked up high schoolers planning a mass shooting at their school learn about themselves, come to terms with the disturbed past they share and try to face an unknown future.





	This Wasted Life

**Author's Note:**

> This story will include child abuse, violence, racism and a rather interesting writing style. Please enjoy.

_Dawn, cold and_ _grey, breaking overhead._ Standing at the bus stop, hands jammed in pockets. Breath puffing between painfully chapped lips. I should buy some chap stick after school. Pulling up my hood, trying to block out the chill, and the mindless chatter around me. The gun, strapped to my hip, hidden by a dark trench coat, I look like a poser. The gun is warm comfort, even though it’s cool against my skin. I could, if I wanted, I could replace the chatter with screams. The yellow bus, wheezes to the corner. Opens to swallow whole. I’m last one, lost one. Pick a seat, any seat. I pick, near the front, comfort.

The bus is filled with the mindless chatter now, raises to an unbearable buzz, touching the lump that is the lump that is the gun. Feeling brave, brave enough to- no. Not yet. Not now. It's too soon. Next stop. Devon. Sour attitude and bitter scowl, next to me. I say hello, he responds but slipping his cold hands under my shirt, warming them against my skin. I flinch, cold, very cold hands. “We could do it today.” Whispered in my ear. Replace the mindless chatter with screams.

“I don’t want to.”

Pussy out like always, that’s what Devon’s dark eyes say. I say nothing more and look out the window. Trying to ignore Devon’s hands exploring lower, lower, NO! I push him away, “No.” Looking at the seat across from us, the black girls giving us disgusted looks. They would be very attractive, if I liked girls. Girl One, dark-skinned, full pouty lips, long frizzy hair swept into a ponytail. Girl Two, mocha coloured, slightly crooked teeth, short boyish haircut, thin and tall.

“Whatever” Animal like low growl, hands away from my crotch. I’m not gay, at least I don’t think I am. Just because I don’t like girls. Doesn’t make me gay…Does it? Buzz becomes roar and I, I suddenly want what Devon wants, to rain bullets on their parade. Opening chapped lips to tell him this, I am interrupted,

“Hey fags.” Familiar, unwanted, unwelcome voice. Looking up with scared kitten eyes. There he is, he who has made my life miserable since I was ten and he saw me kissing a boy. It hadn’t been my idea, it was the boy’s. He was thirteen, he pressed his warm soft lips to mine, opened them and probed my lips with his tongue, understanding I had open my own and his tongue slithered into my mouth, curious.

“Surprised you aren’t sucking each other’s cocks,” He’s squeezed into the seat with the two black girls, they look uncomfortable, they say nothing. “Why don’t you give us a show fags?”

“Watching us would make you gay too, dumb fuck.” His scowl is so deep now that it looks like something from a cartoon.

“The fuck did you call me? I’m not a fag.” Voice low and dangerous, like a black guy with a knife. Devon’s hands are clenched into fist, his mouth a thin white line. I am a rabbit, watching in horror and relief as two predators rip each other to shreds. 

“I can always break your nose again.” Devon says, his eyes darker than the girls across from us. I look up, the bus driver is staring, a bit of a smirk on his face. He’s never liked us. He’d easily like Luke beat the shit out of us. But Devon is stronger than Luke, so he doesn’t try and fight anymore, not with fists. He never gets to Devon, but he gets to me. I’m sensitive, that’s Devon’s polite way of telling me I’m a ‘little bitch baby.’ 

“Yea, and you can go to juvie again, you, stupid fuck.” 

“Yea, until my family calls the News and tells them about all the times you’ve harassed as for being gay.” He snarls and surprise crawls over me. He’s never called himself gay before. As if trying to surprise me more he turns and defiantly kisses me. I hate when he uses me as a prop. But I’m happy to kiss him and so I let it happen. 

“HEY!” The bus driver snarls, “Knock if off you two!” I glance into the bus’s mirror and see at least four other couples spring apart, I know he was barking at us, and I try and be like Devon. I glare at him in the mirror, letting my eyes go hard and cold let Devon does. The bus driver looks away first. Small victories. Devon’s hand goes on my thigh and our bully, Jacob, finds a new seat and the black girls breath a sigh of relief. The taller of the two leans over, and whispers conspiratorially, “He’s a fucking dick. Ignore him. He’ll never stop.” With her thumb she points to herself and the girl next to her, “He made fun of us for being black, called us the N-word.” 

“One day we won’t have to worry about him.” I had never heard Devon’s voice so cold, I shuddered. 

“Boy, I hope you’re not talking what I think you are.” The girl with the pony-tail sighs. They squish in with us, whispering softer than ever, “There are better ways to get even.” There’s a glitter of mischief in their eyes and I grin back at them 


End file.
